Tag Archives: illusions

Doctor’s Holiday Season

Appears I’m no longer to be considered a participant in my health care. No word from Patient Concerns and as expected the doctor tasked with answering my question on lack of communication has chosen to not talk to me at all. This has to be the strangest medical service on the planet here in Alberta. It’s so strange, the staff denies doing they are doing what they are doing when they are doing it. The nothingness of this state of being is leading to a numbness and disassociation that makes me feel unreal–not here.

Have an appointment with the family doctor Monday the 9th. Apparently there are test results and messages relating to my status as a human to be gone over. Since I’m not told in advance what any of this is about, I don’t think I’ll even guess any more. And does it matter? The 3 months on either side of Christmas are when doctors and specialists disappear. So not only do people who might know my history disappear. But since they really don’t know my history because they never talk to me, just issue orders, only they do hold the key to my files and when they go, the files are locked. Anyway, maybe it doesn’t matter if I have no files as no one reads them? Guess I’ll see.

Heard an interesting story about parents of very sick children who work out treatment chart for their kids to give to emergency room staff when they arrive at Emergency. No one touches the child until they’ve read the chart. It eliminates some of the frustration of explaining over and over what the child needs. Think I’ll do one up myself. My wife has spent many horrible hours being ignored by jackass doctors who WON’T look at my file.


No chemo for tomorrow. My platelets are at 80 and need to be minimum 90 to “pass” and receive chemo. I’m usually in the upper 90s and last time exactly at 90 allowed me to be treated but it also made me really sick.

After the 2 minute call from the cancer clinic it occurred to me that uncoordinated care is almost worthless. Even worse is the assumption that the world I live in matches the model imagined by the system. According to the system not getting chemo doesn’t mean I miss a chance for a check-up and an assessment because after all I have an oncologist looking over me–except she quit my case without telling me who would be taking over. I could call the main clinic but they refer me back to miss-no-longer-there.

Could also see my family doctor if she wasn’t away until the end of January. No, there is no back-up covering for her so that’s out. Local hospital? No. Same people as staff the local clinic–not safe with them.

This is a “concern” for my cardiologist in that low platelets can allow the leakage around the aneurism in my heart to possibly increase. Except the path around the wall built by the cardiologist’s assistant can only be passed by my doctor or oncologist–patients aren’t allowed inside the decision zone.

Of course doctors with all their training aren’t fools and set up an elaborate reality of expectation. Not my reality, but mention that to them and out of the system you go. Challenging the mythology sustaining an institution can, in this case, cost you your life.


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