Realism

As mentioned, I saw the cardiologist and she promised to call the surgeon and did and she said I should call her if I don’t from him for another month and I haven’t. So I called after 5 weeks to be told THEY hadn’t heard form him and they would call me either way but didn’t so I called the cardio today and now it seems the surgeon has been upgraded to not only too busy but is so IMPORTANT that he doesn’t have time for me. A year and a half ago I was in dire need of heart surgery but no one can confirm that anymore so I quit.

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Comments

  • thesmallc  On February 20, 2016 at 10:30 AM

    Hi Scott. I am sorry your challenges continue with your doctors. I know you’ve been struggling with this for a while. How are you feeling physically? Are you having symptoms of some kind that may need immediate attention? I remember you telling us that your medical services are very limited where you live. Wondering if it would be worth driving to another location to at least have yourself checked by someone else (not sure if you insurance would allow it). And to make sure you are not in need of further treatments.

    I hope you are not experiencing any symptoms. Hang in there, Scott!

    • scottx5  On February 20, 2016 at 7:16 PM

      Hi Rebecca, Canadian medical service is “provided” by Federal law and “delivered” by the Provincial government. That means it’s the same system across all of Alberta where I live. If I went back to British Columbia, where I paid into the med system for 35 year which I did by chance a few weeks after moving from there to Alberta, I was treated as a transient, got minimal service and rushed to the hospital door. Plus the problem is basically at the core of Alberta Health Services which has just fired its 7th director in 8 years.

      The system doesn’t work so there’s a constant need to make deal with this or that doctor and you stay with them until they fail you (which they will–guaranteed). I know I sound manic about who I like and who not to trust but since there’s no real system wide continuity there’s always this grabbing for bits of the sinking ship to survive with. Two weeks ago it was my doctor on extended holiday who left me without a prescription for drugs I’ve been on for 5 to 7 years. So I made a deal with the cardiologist for the prescriptions but she has shut me down on contact to the surgeon so it’s back to the family doctor for a while until that goes to shit. Cancer people I’m completely done with. I send quarterly blood tests to them for another year and they don’t report back.

      The only consistent thing here is they will treat you if you show up in an ambulance. Ambulance drivers are required to check you out and if their report says you are sick going in and the hospital kills you, someone gets a pile of paperwork to do.

      I do have some chest pains but even my cardiologist didn’t listen to my heart at the January appointment because I “looked good and didn’t need it.” It’s a real life game here surviving.

      • thesmallc  On February 20, 2016 at 7:59 PM

        Scott, it didn’t hit me until after I had submitted my original comment for this post that you were in Canada and so medical service is provided to all. It truly isn’t fair what you’re going through trying to get some proper medical care. I am sorry. Your reaction is reasonable and you, as the patient, have the right to want to find a doctor who shows some level of care and one who follows his/her hippocratic oath (we all know not every doctor does this, sadly).

        Personally, I dislike hospitals and ambulances in general (and who does!), even with a better system, but if you are experiencing symptoms get in there. You know your body best but don’t ignore your instincts if you feel you need some medical attention. And of course you already know this, I am just a bit concerned. I hope you stop having those chest pains and there’s no need for you to deal with those people. You need a long break from all of this. Please stay well.

      • scottx5  On February 20, 2016 at 9:51 PM

        Thanks Rebecca. To an extent there’s nothing that CAN be done with the chest pains. Nobody want them or wants to deal with them. Was in emergency last week and the nurse and doctor refused to listen to my heart, just like my cardiologist. They also don’t read your record and now seem to have “daily specials” where everyone through the door is diagnosed with something simple and common, given a happy pill and shoved out the door. At least they don’t make it worse. Even our dog gets poor service here. She’s been limping from rough play with a friend’s dog a month ago. Three times to the local vet. First it was a broken right leg; then a broken left foot and the final trip in revealed that it was the right foot that was broken (they don’t read their own records and got confused). $600.00 vet bill for 3 visits and they were going to charge another fee for an x-ray but we figured they’d get the wrong part of even the wrong dog so we booked with a vet 2 hours away and went today. The exam cost $71.00 and she has a strained Rotator Cuff on her right shoulder.

        My hear hurts mostly because the whole top end is scar tissue, mesh and artificial gadgets. Thinking it would be good to consider myself an alien light years away for doctors who understand my weird body:-)

        Thanks for your concern, I need to get over to your blog and reply, been neglecting things.

      • thesmallc  On February 21, 2016 at 8:31 AM

        Scott, I am sorry about your dog too. Sigh. I am out of words now except I want to say that I’ll be adding you (and your dog) to my prayers. And please rest up. Don’t worry about blogs, or anything, seriously. Not sure if there is anything you can do in terms of relaxing your body tension, but I do breathing exercises (you can probably look up some on youtube). Also listening to certain sounds relax me, like this link here: http://www.rainymood.com/. And when I choose to do any of these things, I also choose NOT to think of anything that brings me tension or stress, even if for that one moment. You may be already doing this, but if not, try it it out. And do it frequently. It has made a difference for me.

        As for me, I am up and down, but I am getting help. I’ve discovered some things about me I didn’t realize — why I behave the way I do today, even with my survivorship. Maybe I’ll write about it one day. MRI was clear for hip. I see the orthopedist tomorrow to see what can be done next. Dropped off slides for my oncologist to review. I am trying hard not to think of this anymore. And coming across this image helped me: http://gaiablooming.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/CJO51kNWgAA8996.png.

        You hang in there Scott. And please feel better.

      • scottx5  On February 21, 2016 at 2:23 PM

        Thank You for the tips Rebecca. No sure I’ve mentioned a book I’m almost finished with called “Developing Resilience: A Cognitive-Behavioural Approach” by Michael Neenan. I loved the book and even though it sounds confusing my plan is to both detach myself and reclaim myself. First, what has happened to me is unacceptable and I won’t be “reasonable” about it to suit the curative powers of going into a universal peace coma of forgiveness–I’m not indifferent about people who failed me BUT I’m not their plaything nor am I to be the carrier of their ratty little asses as a museum of shit-heads I’ve known.
        Also, he says being an expert on how women think “Diving Deep and Surfacing: Women Writers on Spiritual Quest” second or third additions by Carol p. Christ.
        To rid myself of this part of my life, the idea is to contain it within a simple narrative of what happened and then set it on the shelf. Imagine it as like a can of bug repellant to rid myself of pests. Then I can move on. Will write about this soon.
        Love songs. Thanks for sharing some of your sweetness with me too.
        The Pogues – Dirty Old Town

        Eva Cassidy – Over The Rainbow

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