Always Apologizing

Today’s blood test showed my platelets were too low. For a normal person the counts are good but because my heart leaks I need to have as much clotting ability as possible. Not that I “know” what is up with my heart, my cardiologist sends reports to my doctor who either doesn’t pass them on or is on frequent holiday and I can’t access her messages until she returns. Can’t get past the cardiologist’s receptionist either. Do here snippets of my condition when I see other doctors and they makes comments like Sunday in emergency when I found out the left side of my heart is dangerously enlarged. Or the leaking thing heard from my lung doctor. Worst is everyone thinks I know and drops them on me with no warning.

Anyway no chemo tomorrow so the note is pointless as I need to talk on the phone to the nurse who will reschedule me for possibly next week if my platelets are good. Except I’ve been warned my nurse time has been excessive and I just don’t want to hear the bitching so I’ll skip next week as it coincides with a visit to my seldom seen cardiologist to get the last year’s news on my heart and maybe see my new oncologist. Though it will probably cost me all the rest of my care points it would be nice to know if they plan to test me to see if the 8 rounds of chemo so far has had any effect–testing to see if the treatments are working apparently isn’t part of the service. Also, since no one from the main clinic has been in contact since August 13 it would be cool to know if they are still into cancer stuff or sold the building.

All this is going to cost me loads of apologies for being a needy inconvenience, a resource hog, unreliable and unappreciative. What a mess.

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