Spinning Wheels

This all started with an interview I had while in the middle of being extremely sick from my early over-strength chemo doses. Weeks of vomiting and diarrhea had emptied me of all my heart and anxiety medications and I was in bad shape and emotional. Also I had repeatedly called my oncologist for help and received no replies (she never has called me and dropped me as a patient months ago).

Call from the Patient Concerns office at the Cancer Institute (CI) yesterday. I had thought this office was a neutral arms-length mediation service but it’s just an internal fix-it service. The gist of the conversation focused on my being “rude” on the phone and in person. This is apparently new definition of worthiness to be treated as sick, good manners. The secondary operational directive is that any damage not directly done by the staff at CI is irrelevant; as in my dying in June 2012 from incompetent medical care is taken as an unrelated disappointment in the remote past that bears no relation to my current state of mind. (This is an expression of a common contemporary belief that all hurts are get-overable by normal people with attention to a proper diet, an astutely accessorized wardrobe and a kind of modern mental blankness that feeds on slogans and policies instead of empathy. All pain and suffering are minor Boo-Boos to be kissed away–not to be “fretted over” like some sissy).

So now I’m back to being nowhere with more unjustified “complaints” added to my record to further silence me. On the bright side I have a few more tip for the “What made you think we gave a shit about you list.” The application of logic and reason in cases of distress are intended to diffuse and calm an emotional situation. Proper application of this variation on Mommy Talks to Little Timmy speaking style can successfully convey a sense of superiority and unconcern that puts people in their place while also imitating good advice. Since medical science is largely all about arranging people in proper relationships with their squishy-bits for optimal functionality, Timmy Tips are, as they say, just what the doctor ordered.

More seriously, my ability to navigate the spoken environment has deteriorated to almost nil since my last intensive care stay so I’m going silent at all doctor interviews. In the city I can take my Daughter as my voice. Alternately, a notebook will serve. Too bad well educated people can step on people without consequence but that’s the game:-(

 

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Comments

  • Maha Bali  On January 10, 2015 at 10:51 PM

    I don’t understand why this keeps happening to u – have they like written in ur medical record and labeled u as a “delinquent patient” or sthg? Kinda like how this would harm a student in school whose resistance is labeled rebellion and disability rarher than considered seriously.

    • scottx5  On January 11, 2015 at 12:10 AM

      Maha, it actually is on my record which I’m allowed to counter by appending my own version. Which I’ll do. And I’m not an innocent victim in this on. Though I started out sick and obviously strung-out from weeks and weeks of not being able to keep my medications down the over reaction from the doctors triggered the fight reflex in me and away we went. Following that interview with an oncologist at the branch clinic where not one thing I said was listened to or taken seriously both Leslie and me are now labeled as irrational and unfocused and this isn’t something I’ll put up with.
      We live in an undesirable area where no sane educated person should live and it shows in the low quality medical people we have to endure. My hope is to resolve things when I finally get an interview at the main clinic with my new oncologist on Jan 23. My Daughter Lindsay has volunteered to be my advocate so I don’t have to speak. Being in Rebecca’s group is helping me and I’ve also joined a group called Participation with Patients that includes many doctors.

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