Mythology

No chemo for tomorrow. My platelets are at 80 and need to be minimum 90 to “pass” and receive chemo. I’m usually in the upper 90s and last time exactly at 90 allowed me to be treated but it also made me really sick.

After the 2 minute call from the cancer clinic it occurred to me that uncoordinated care is almost worthless. Even worse is the assumption that the world I live in matches the model imagined by the system. According to the system not getting chemo doesn’t mean I miss a chance for a check-up and an assessment because after all I have an oncologist looking over me–except she quit my case without telling me who would be taking over. I could call the main clinic but they refer me back to miss-no-longer-there.

Could also see my family doctor if she wasn’t away until the end of January. No, there is no back-up covering for her so that’s out. Local hospital? No. Same people as staff the local clinic–not safe with them.

This is a “concern” for my cardiologist in that low platelets can allow the leakage around the aneurism in my heart to possibly increase. Except the path around the wall built by the cardiologist’s assistant can only be passed by my doctor or oncologist–patients aren’t allowed inside the decision zone.

Of course doctors with all their training aren’t fools and set up an elaborate reality of expectation. Not my reality, but mention that to them and out of the system you go. Challenging the mythology sustaining an institution can, in this case, cost you your life.

 

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