It’s necessary for me to continue posting as medical adventure gets closer but don’t want sympathy or advice so please don’t comment. Each time I go through this it gets worse and parts of my brain get lost and I’m already noticing a shut-down of interest in the world, but still have a desire to document what’s happening.
Right now the key problem is loss of voice as in control. My doctor’s receptionist has held me off long enough that it no longer matters if she hears from me. Her letters to my cardiologist had to be initiated by me because, first this time it’s colon cancer and what interest does a cardiologist have in such things. Second, to ensure your specialist/cardiologist isn’t “distracted” by patient problems her receptionist can’t tell her my cancer surgeon needs a consultation on all the implants and mesh and other junk holding my aortic system together. My cariologist was never told of my second heart failure, even though her office is down the hall in the same building, until months later when she saw me for a scheduled check-up relating to my first heart failure.
Even though a hugely sophisticate digital record is kept on everyone here here’s no apparent communication which might be an advantage as my first aortic valve failure was diagnosed as pneumonia and wasn’t correctly diagnosed until someone found the 2 month old test results showing my valve was shredded. Even then I wasn’t told why I was being sent to the heart clinic until I got there. Second time it was 5 weeks of treatment for gall stones before my kidneys quit. Then someone noticed that my lack of recordable pulse was because the top of my heart was torn in half due to an aneurism at the site of my valve implant. And this wasn’t discovered until my sternum was broken by CPR when my breathing stopped in quarantine because I’d been given c-difficile during the gall stone “treatment.”
The only reason any of this is now known by my cancer surgeon it the anesthetist noticed my heart is listed as stopping a number of times when I was off life-support and he was curious about how much brain damage I’d collected AFTER he heard from my wife that his records were incomplete. For my part, I tell people things and nothing happens. Sometimes it’s because I’m sick at the time though I’m starting to think I actually don’t exist and this is someone else’s dream.
So Monday the 26th I go for a second review. They aren’t sure if the ten days spent in the grips Intensive Care Psychosis last time was caused by my being crazy or a reaction to the anesthetics. Need a special bed to tie me down and there’s no used giving me a room with a TV if I’m just going to hallucinate the whole time:-)
Anyway, I need some time to compose myself for this adventure. Will post on the 26th after my review.